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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28001769">Wild Fried Rice</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multishipperlove/pseuds/Multishipperlove'>Multishipperlove</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>And also Fjord is a terrible cook, Canon Aromantic Character, Canon Asexual Character, Except Caduceus doesn't know it's a date, First Dates, Food, Gen, Happy Ending, Miscommunication, Unrequited Crush</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 19:28:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,059</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28001769</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Multishipperlove/pseuds/Multishipperlove</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Fjord tries to impress Caduceus with a home cooked dinner on their first date, but quickly has to realise that more often then not, things do not go as planned. And as it turns out, almost setting his kitchen on fire is not the worst part of the evening. Or is it?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Caduceus Clay &amp; Fjord</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>33</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Wild Fried Rice</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I feel the need to say that, as Fjord, I am not the best cook, so please take any cooking advice in here with a grain of salt. Haha, salt, get it? ... Okay, I will stop. <br/>Anyway, I was partly inspired to write this fic by <a href="https://drive.google.com/file/d/1JOl6s0y0-bx1uroJ1ujHIjAO1SBO2C2w/view">this lovely zine</a>. So check it out, maybe try some of the recipes, and maybe throw some money their way if you want to. It's for a good cause :)<br/>And finally, enjoy the fic, and let me know what you think!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fjord checked his hair for the third time in the last twenty minutes, nervously bustling back and forth between his kitchen and the living room and somehow getting stuck in front of the mirror every single time. The table was set, most of the food was done, the breadsticks were still in the oven, there wasn't anything left for him to <em>do</em>, and yet he couldn't get himself to just sit down and wait. Caduceus would arrive any minute now, <em>any minute</em>, and his nerves were definitely getting the better of him.</p>
<p>His phone buzzed, but instead of the <em>“almost there” </em>he'd been hoping for his screen greeted him with a message from Beau, a simple <em>“hey, you can do it” </em>followed by a thumbs up emoji, and he couldn't help but roll his eyes a little as he put it back in his pocket. He needed more patience, Fjord told himself, not dignifying Beau's message with a response for now, and instead checking on the breadsticks again.</p>
<p>Not ready yet. Were they rising at all? He wasn't sure.</p>
<p>When the doorbell finally rang it was the only thing saving him from answering Beau after all, and in less than a second he'd cleared his apartment and was already ripping open the door, not quite able to hide the dorky grin on his face when he saw Caduceus in his usual relaxed attire. Gray pants stained from the cemetery, the long sleeves of his shirt still bearing the marks of being around fresh soil and moss and flowers all day, and the smell of the Savalier Woods seemingly following him everywhere. Perfect, in Fjord's eyes.</p>
<p>“Did you work overtime again?” he asked, offering to take Caduceus' jacket as he let the firbolg step inside and carefully hanging it up beside his own. “I thought Clarabelle was taking your shift today.”<br/><br/>“Ah, you know how it is,” Caduceus hummed in answer. “Sometimes there is more work than expected, and I didn't want to leave her alone with all of it. But I'm here now, so that's nice.”<br/><br/>Fjord chuckled softly, leading him through the living room and to the table. “It is. I got almost everything done, too, so you can just sit down and I'll join you in a second.”</p>
<p>“Oh, well, thank you. That's very nice,” Caduceus agreed again, and continued talking while Fjord disappeared into the kitchen once more. “You know, I'm still a bit surprised you offered to cook dinner, I know you don't do this a lot. I would have been happy to help, too.”</p>
<p>Blushing a dark green and rubbing his neck a little, glad that Caduceus couldn't see him at the moment, Fjord had to admit he was right. “Well, no, I don't. But I, uh... wanted to do this properly, you know?” He picked up the first two plates he'd prepared, noticing with a grimace that the food had gone cold by now. But maybe cold didn't have to mean inedible, so he took it out to the table anyway. “I stuck to the recipes, mostly, so we should be good.”</p>
<p>He put both plates down and settled in his chair across from Caduceus, cheeks still feeling warm, and the calm smile Cad was giving him didn't help the matter. After a moment he realised he was staring, and also that the candles on the table were still unlit, making the dim light in the room seem more awkward than the romantic vibe he had been trying to go for.</p>
<p>“Oh, shoot, lemme fix this real quick,” he muttered, fishing a lighter out of his pocket that had once probably belonged to either Yasha or Beau, he wasn't sure, and quickly remedied that. “There, that's better...”</p>
<p>“Oh, yes, much better. Now I can see what I'm eating,” Caduceus agreed, sounding amused. As he picked up his fork and was about to dig in though, Fjord could see a brief frown cross his face. He looked confused. “Actually, what <em>are</em> we eating? This doesn't... I'm not sure what this is.”</p>
<p>Fjord winced a little, feeling his ears grow hot in embarrassment. “It's, uh. It's some sweet potato appetizer thing, I... alright, yeah, the veggies might have gotten a bit mushy, but I'm sure it's still good, so-”</p>
<p>Before he could make it any worse Caduceus already nodded, his tone reassuring as he answered. “Of course, I'm sure it is! I was not trying to imply anything else, my apologies.”</p>
<p>“No, don't apologise, it was a fair question. It turned out a little gray, I suppose.” Already resisting the urge to retreat to the kitchen, maybe under the guise of checking on the breadsticks again, Fjord picked up his knife and fork as well and cut a piece off the... thing, on his plate. At least there was food to focus on.</p>
<p>But as they both tried the first bite he got the next unpleasant surprise. The texture was awful, the taste non-existent, and he could see Caduceus pausing for a second before actually swallowing it down.</p>
<p>“Well, maybe with some salt-”</p>
<p>Fjord waved him off, deciding he wasn't as brave and spitting it back into his napkin. “Nope, this is horrible, you can say it.”</p>
<p>“No salt then,” Caduceus agreed, somehow still looking amused while Fjord was starting to regret ever inviting him in the first place. “But you said this was an appetizer, right? We can just move on to the main dish, it's all good.”</p>
<p>“Right, right... sure, let me just put this away then,” Fjord sighed, still giving Caduceus a smile though as he took the plates back to the kitchen. Some optimism couldn't hurt, and so far Cad didn't seem to mind the chaos all that much. He was willing to take that as a good sign.</p>
<p>Disposing of the appetizer in the trash can with a sigh he then put together new plates, taking the vegan fish out of the covered pan (a little darker than intended), getting the rice out of it's pot (was it supposed to be that soggy?) and just forgoing the veggies completely because those had already been part of the appetizer. The lemon sauce was the only thing he had actually taste tested though, and he knew that one was okay. It was <em>edible. </em></p>
<p>Coming back to Caduceus he placed it down with a little flourish, smiling again as it got a laugh out of his friend. “Here you go. Something salmon adjacent, with lemon butter sauce, bedded on wild rice. I hope it's better than the last try.”</p>
<p>“It can only go up from here,” Caduceus replied with a smile, and Fjord settled down again. And while he wasn't wrong, it didn't necessarily make the main dish taste any better.</p>
<p>What was true for the sauce could also be said for the dish in general. Edible, but not great. The dry salmon substitute seemed to be in a competition with the soggy rice about which texture was worse, and the sauce was unremarkable enough to count as the best part of it all. Still, they managed some bits of not-awkward conversation while they picked at their food, and Fjord was starting to feel hope again, when Caduceus suddenly stopped mid sentence and sniffed the air. </p>
<p>“Do you smell that?”</p>
<p>It took him a moment, but then he realised it too. Smoke.</p>
<p>“The breadsticks! Shit-” Jumping up from his chair Fjord hurried back into the kitchen, having to tug his shirt over his nose almost immediately as the air got thick and his eyes watered from the soot that had gathered in the small room. But he found his way to the oven and turned it off, glad to see that they weren't any flames at least. Caduceus, who'd been trailing after him, had enough sense to check in with him on that first before he pushed the little window in the kitchen wide open, making it easier again to breath.</p>
<p>Still kneeling in front of the oven Fjord grabbed for a dish towel and pulled the rack out, seeing the blackened, miserable remains of what had once been bread dough. With a long suffering sigh he rested his head against the open oven door. “Damn it. I'm so sorry, Cad. This is all going horribly wrong.”</p>
<p>At this point he should have offered to drive his friend home, or just let him leave, anything that put him out of the danger of Fjord's own cooking, but he was hoping against his better judgement that maybe Caduceus hadn't given up on him yet, especially as the firbolg waved his apology off.</p>
<p>“Don't be, mistakes happen all the time,” Cad assured him, somehow still smiling throughout this whole disaster. “But I'm starting to think you could really use some help in the kitchen.”</p>
<p>He almost sounded amused, and Fjord would have been offended had it been anyone else. But with their situation being what it was he just scoffed and shook his head a little. “I'd say so, yeah. But since there's no saving this, and I know the fish tastes like shit too, how about we just order some take out?” he offered. “I'll pay, of course, and you can choose whatever you want.”</p>
<p>Caduceus considered it for a moment, looking around the kitchen, but then shook his head to Fjord's surprise. “No, you already paid for all these ingredients, and there's no sense in wasting them, is there.”</p>
<p>“Well, no,” he started, “but you can't honestly tell me you want to eat-” And he gestured to everything around them. The burned charcoal sticks of bread, the soggy rice still in it's pot, the mushy veggies. “This.”</p>
<p>“No,” Caduceus agreed, pulling a face as well. “But I'm sure there are enough of the original ingredients left to do something else with it, and this time we'll do it together.” Looking over to Fjord he saw his sceptical expression, and just smiled. “You'll see, good food isn't all that difficult. You were trying to make bread there, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, trying being the key word here,” Fjord muttered, finally picking the blackened dough off the baking paper with a fork to dispose of it as well. “But alright Houdini, teach me how to cook. What do we need?”</p>
<p>Caduceus smile grew and he reached for the discarded apron hanging over the door, tying it behind his back with practised ease. The sight finally made Fjord's frown disappear as well, and his heart lightened a little with his friend's willingness to take the situation in stride. Maybe a cooking lesson wasn't such a bad first date either.</p>
<p>“Alright then,” Caduceus hummed, “first of all we need a mixing bowl. Do you have any leftover yeast?” Fjord checked his drawer but came up short, not that it seemed to matter though. “That's alright. How about butter milk and baking soda?”</p>
<p>“Baking soda's the stuff you put in cakes and cookies, right?” Fjord muttered, brows drawing together as he checked his little stash of baking ingredients. “Yeah, I have that. And buttermilk's in the fridge.”</p>
<p>Seeming very pleased with that Caduceus then asked for an egg, some flour, and a little bit of butter and sugar to complete the dough. As he put it all together he told Fjord exactly how the buttermilk and baking soda would interact to let the dough rise, and why, unlike yeasted dough, this one didn't have to to be set aside and rest. But all those things went over Fjord's head almost completely as he watched Caduceus' finger knead the dough in an almost mesmerising pattern.</p>
<p>He wasn't done after that, either. Fjord expected the lesson to be over as the bread went into the oven (and boy did it already look better than his poor attempt at breadsticks), but Caduceus just turned to him with a cheerful smile and briefly wiped his hands on one of the towels. “Time for the main dish then.”</p>
<p>“Wait, really?” Fjord asked. “I don't have anymore of the vegan fish, Cad, and the rest... I don't know, I don't really know of any other recipes we could use.”</p>
<p>“We already agreed that's what I'm here for, did we not,” Caduceus reminded him happily. “Get me whatever vegetables you have left please, and we'll see what we can do.”</p>
<p>With a slight shrug Fjord did as he'd asked, coming back from the fridge with some bell pepper, red beet, and a handful of mushrooms. “This is what I got. Do you think the rice can be saved?”</p>
<p>“Honest answer? No. But cooking new rice would take too long, so we'll use what we have even if it's going to make the texture a little weird,” Cad told him, looking surprisingly pleased with the assortment of vegetables he'd brought though. “I'll show you one of my family's favourites, wild fried rice. The improvised version, but the next time you come over I can show you how to do it properly.”<br/><br/>Fjord blushed again, rubbing the back of his neck a little. “Oh, sure, I'd- I would really love that, Cad. Here, let me help with the prep.”</p>
<p>With the two of them working together, cutting everything up didn't take more than a few minutes, and afterwards Fjord was once more happy to stand by and listen as Caduceus took care of the actual cooking part. It didn't take long for the kitchen to take on a rather pleasant smell again, driving the last few remnants of smoke and misery out, and while Fjord finished his last few tasks he looked back to Caduceus with a smile.</p>
<p>“Hey, Cad? Really, thank you, this has already been a way better evening than I expected.”</p>
<p>“It's nice,” Caduceus agreed, sounding just as pleased. “Again, I'm not sure why you insisted on cooking all alone, but I'd be happy to teach you more things in the future.”<br/><br/>Fjord chuckled. “Hey, I already told you. I wanted to do it properly, this being our first date and all. I just wanted you to have a nice evening without having to work for once.”</p>
<p>“Yes, yes, our- wait, our what now?”</p>
<p>Fjord stopped what he was doing and looked up, seeing that Caduceus had paused as well, that confused look on his face again. “Our first date,” he repeated, slowly. “I... I asked you if you wanted to go out with me, Cad, remember? I asked you out for dinner, and then suggested I cook instead. And you said yes... remember?” The confused look didn't go away, and Fjord wasn't sure if he wanted to laugh or cry.</p>
<p>“Oh.” Slowly though, understanding seemed to dawn on his friend, and the confusion made way for embarrassment. “<em>Oh</em>. No, I didn't- that’s not really- I’m sorry if I somehow lead you on?” he stammered, and Fjord wasn't sure if he had ever heard Caduceus stammer before.</p>
<p>“No! God, no, I'm just-” Great, now he was stammering too, and his face felt hot again, and surely this couldn't get any worse. “I just thought, you know, all the time at the temple, and at the diner, and... God, Cad, I'm so fucking stupid.” Fjord groaned softly, putting the spices he'd been getting ready aside and rubbing his face for a moment, trying to catch a clear thought. “I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed. Or made things more clear, or... or something. This is on me.”</p>
<p>“Hey now, don't,” Caduceus replied, his tone gentle again, and at least not sounding as embarrassed anymore. “Don't do that. This is just a little misunderstanding, right? But if you would prefer for me to leave now-”</p>
<p>“No, please, stay,” Fjord replied quickly, not even letting him finish that sentence. He finally turned to face him again, leaning against the counter a little. “There's no reason for you to leave. I mean, the bread's in the oven, we actually got some decent food now, so... no hurt feelings, right?”</p>
<p>Caduceus was still frowning, but before he could speak up Fjord stopped him. “Alright, hey, I might be... a little disappointed. I can admit that. But I'm a big boy, Cad, I can deal with it, I promise. And besides, your friendship means way more to me. We're still friends... right?”</p>
<p>Eyes softening a little Caduceus stepped forward, placing his hand over Fjord's. “Of course we are. I never wanted it to be anything else, and again, my deepest apology if-”</p>
<p>“No, come on, we need to stop apologizing at some point,” Fjord chuckled, lifting his other hand to give Caduceus a gentle pat on the shoulder before he pulled back a little, trying to discreetly wipe his eyes as he ran a hand down his face again. “Both of us. As you said, it was a misunderstanding. Maybe in a few weeks we can already think back to this and laugh about it.”</p>
<p>“Maybe. But it's alright if you need some time for that,” Caduceus assured him, and Fjord just sighed this time.</p>
<p>“Yeah, maybe I will,” he muttered, giving Caduceus another smile in an attempt to seem reassuring. “But for now, let's eat. I do want to try that family favourite recipe of yours.”</p>
<p>Humming softly in reply Caduceus picked up the spices he'd been mixing, adding them to the pan and stirring it all in before he lowered the heat. “According to my mother, you would be in luck,” he told him, his tone still gentle. “This is supposed to work quite well against all kinds of heartaches and disappointment.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah?” Fjord asked, his smile turning a little more genuine. “Next time you really gotta show me how to do it properly then.”</p>
<p>“Next time,” Caduceus promised, which was really all Fjord had needed to hear. As long as they stayed friends, as long as there was a next time to get together, to cook, or watch stupid movies, or <em>something</em>, it would be okay. He could deal with the rest. And as they settled down to eat, with the still warm, home-made bread, and the fried rice that was every bit as good as Caduceus had promised him, Fjord was glad to see most of the awkwardness between them leave again.</p>
<p>If a good meal could really help with smoothing things over this easily, Fjord thought to himself, he needed to learn to be a better cook.</p>
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